I’ve just finished a game of golf during which one of the group was, for reasons uknown, quite aggressive and rough with his golf bag. This example brought to mind a few of my favourite golf stories in connection with abuse of golf equipment around the course and why some individuals are better served buying cheap golf bags.
1.Golf bags cant swim – the very best story I ever heard concerning the abuse of the golf bag was the one regarding the guy who, after a truly awful round, was seen to throw his bag, clubs included, right into a lake which was next to the 18th green. He then stormed away and off to the car-park. 15 minutes later he returned and proceeded to wade in to the water up to his chest in an effort to retrieve his bag. Turned out that in his fit of pique he’d forgotten the bag contained his keys, wallet, mobile telephone and reading glasses. The guy was last seen searching for golf bags for sale which were waterproof and could swim!
2.Golf bags cant swim (2) – then there’s the tale of the golfer having an indifferent day around the course who, following a bad hole, slammed his putter in to the golf bag, that was sat upon an electric golf trolley. In performing this course of action he inadvertently touched the on button of the trolley, that was set at its fastest speed level. This caused the trolley to set off at great pace back down the very steep fairway the players had just climbed to reach the green. The golfer involved, although no slouch, set off to trap the wayward trolley but his efforts were all in vain. He managed to get to the bottom of the hill around 5 seconds after the trolley disappeared in to the scenic lake that lay in the path. The end result was much like in the last story!
3.Golf bags cant fly – in my part of the world there are many courses set high in the Pennine Hills and foothills. Additionally, there are some that aren’t only set high, but they are built around very old stone quarries. Best story I heard regarding this kind of environment was the chap who, upon reaching the green, discovered that his ball was in a bunker, plugged, right up against the lip, very nearly unplayable. Instead of taking the situation in his stride he completely lost his temper, snatching his sand iron from the golf bag, and proceeding to throw his golf bag to the side of the green. In normal circumstances he’d probably have gotten away with his actions. Aside from annoying his playing partners that is! However, as a result of his agitated state he totally underestimated his strength along with the distance he was hoping to toss the bag. Outcome was that the golf bag, the very expensive clubs and all his other gear, disappeared over the side of an exceedingly steep quarry face with a drop close to 100 feet. The bag, although badly out of shape, almost survived the fall but sadly for the golf clubs hardly any of them did. To say that the golfer had an embarrassed and sheepish look on his face would be an understatement!
There are more stories that come to mind regarding golf bag abuse that I will share another time. However, meanwhile if your character is a bit suspect round the course I’d strongly advise that you should only put money into cheap golf bags!
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